[ there’s a slow, heavy weight that falls on his heart as hideyoshi responds. does he have to talk about this further…? confessing… doesn’t make him feel any better– it does the opposite, actually– forcing him to wallow in the reality of his fate and exposing the emotional weakness he has, right to hideyoshi. ]
That’s right. [ this time, he can’t hide the sadness in his voice, he grips his arms just a little tighter. he’s got it exactly right, though… he hid it in order to keep this same darkness out of his heart… in order to focus, and in order to keep anyone from worrying about him. he knows, more than anyone, how unfair it was to keep from hideyoshi, because he knows, more than anyone, how their time together is never enough.
it was never enough.
a silence grows, and hanbei’s shoulders rise. even if he wanted to offer any more explanation, he couldn’t, with the way his voice dips into his emotions, an unmistakable ache lacing his tone and tearing at his throat… he feels… unhinged now, and still utterly ashamed. ]
Hideyoshi, I’m sorry… [ for everything. his gaze has still not reached hideyoshi, and it seems it’s all he can say. ]
no subject
That’s right. [ this time, he can’t hide the sadness in his voice, he grips his arms just a little tighter. he’s got it exactly right, though… he hid it in order to keep this same darkness out of his heart… in order to focus, and in order to keep anyone from worrying about him. he knows, more than anyone, how unfair it was to keep from hideyoshi, because he knows, more than anyone, how their time together is never enough.
it was never enough.
a silence grows, and hanbei’s shoulders rise. even if he wanted to offer any more explanation, he couldn’t, with the way his voice dips into his emotions, an unmistakable ache lacing his tone and tearing at his throat… he feels… unhinged now, and still utterly ashamed. ]
Hideyoshi, I’m sorry… [ for everything. his gaze has still not reached hideyoshi, and it seems it’s all he can say. ]